I Am Always Wearing A Wedding Dress

                It’s a simple fact of my life. Wherever I go, whatever I do, and whoever I meet, I am always decorated and gowned in my wedding dress. No, to my misfortune, I have never really been married, but it is a dream of mine to be. With any person I meet, with any life I experience, I am always wearing my wedding dress.

                It comes in many colors, you see. Ones to fit the season, especially dim and comfortable colors so as not to upstage brides at their weddings, or chameleon colors so it is not seen completely. On good nights when others are at center stage, I keep the wedding dress muted so as not to steal the scene.

                But I am always wearing my wedding dress.

                As you might imagine, wearing a wedding dress around all the time has some issues. It has been damaged, torn when it got caught on a wayward glance, stretched when someone who fascinated me turned out to not be quite what I need.

                I spent a great deal of time with a man who seemed to deeply admire my wedding dress, but then was so excited to tear it off of me, that it became torn across my favorite piece. For that, he and I shouted and screamed and screamed and screamed.

But I say, and I repaired it. I stitched it right. I made sure the blouse-piece was fixed and the veil fit over my eyes. That way I can always wear my wedding dress.

                At times, I get a bit scared that the people I’m close to will damage my wedding dress, but I still need it, so I just stand farther away from them.

                At times, I get a bit eager at the idea of my wedding, and so when someone expresses a closeness to me, I stay close and try to show it to them. I enjoy those moments, I enjoy the shine it gives me, the glimmering view I can see in their eyes. And I am addicted, from time to time, with trying to earn their praise for the dress, for what it means on me.

                I tell them about the seams I’ve stitched, the stories it tells. The life I’ve had, the cuts, the scrapes, the history, the strife.

                Do I clean the wedding dress? Of course I do. I take it off and iron it, and wash it, but on those days I do not leave the house.

I’m not completely insane, don’t get me wrong. I usually take it off to sleep, and I always take it off to shower. Those are not places I need a wedding dress. And sometimes, when I’m at home, just living the way I wish, I let it hang in my closet- after a good ironing, of course- and just wear some pajamas or, on the rare occasion, a different kind of dress.

But why would I ever leave the house except to wear my wedding dress?

…Well, you make a fair point. Perhaps I’d leave the house for a wedding— but, no.

I could not leave without my wedding dress. If someone were to want me there, would it not be because I am always in my wedding dress?

After all, if I am always in my wedding dress, isn’t that who I am? Isn’t that who people need me to be?

And if someone were to tell me that they wanted to marry me, wouldn’t that mean I’d have to take off my wedding dress when they aren’t around me?

Wouldn’t it mean I’d have to decide what I wear for me, for the mirror to see?

 

…

 

It is decided.

I don’t need to get married.

That way,

I will always be able to wear my wedding dress.

I will wear it for all to see.